


When God Pulls You Out Of Reality To Watch A Musical

by citrus_boots



Series: Some Very Citrus Fanfics [3]
Category: A Very Potter Musical Series - Team StarKid, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: I wanna actually pick this bacm up but writing is so fucking difficult with an alexa, fhfjskfhdk, idk i'll tag with my random thoughts or something, uhhh bitch what
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:35:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26264299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/citrus_boots/pseuds/citrus_boots
Summary: I'm writing this on an amazon AlexaSo you can imagine out difficult this isI'm not even sure why I'm doing itBut it's 2:00 AM and I don't have time to think
Series: Some Very Citrus Fanfics [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1920871
Comments: 5
Kudos: 11





	When God Pulls You Out Of Reality To Watch A Musical

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Harry Potter characters react to AVPM](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21884245) by [Ill_have_that_drink_now](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ill_have_that_drink_now/pseuds/Ill_have_that_drink_now). 

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this exists for when i have writers block and you all are just gonna have to deal with that

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote a better version of this but then the power went out and i lost it i hate it here

The first thing Harry noticed when he woke up was the strong smell of fruit and smoke. Then, he noticed that he wasn't in his bed, or anywhere in Gryffindor Tower. In fact, he was perched rather uncomfortably in a red armchair. He looked around, trying to figure out where he was. The room was clean and,, filled with candles? Harry blinked and adjusted his glasses. He wasn't hurt or bound, but something was wrong. He suspected Voldemort or his Death Eaters, but this wasn't their style. Harry looked to his right and saw Ron and Hermione curled up together on the couch and Ginny lounging in a beanbag chair. For a split second his heart dropped into his gut and he thought they were dead, but he noticed the gentle rise and fall of their chests and let out a sigh of relief.

"What the hell is going on, Potter?" spat an unfortunately familiar voice. Harry whirled around and cam face to face with a fuming Draco Malfoy.  
"I know as much as you do, Malfoy," Harry admitted. Behind him, Ron and Hermione stirred, noticed that they were curled up together, and scrambled to opposite ends of the couch. Hermione flushed a bit and Ron coughed uncomfortable. Then they both seemed to process what was going on.  
"I thought the Triwizard Tournament was over," Ron complained, "I was looking forward to at least a year of not waking up in strange places!"  
"I can assure you, Mr. Weasley, this is not the work of Hogwarts staff. In fact, I fear..." Dumbledore trailed off as he noticed the looks of his students. Everyone seemed stunned, except for Malfoy, who was wheezing with laughter and Hermione, who seemed tired. "What? Have I got a cockroach cluster in my beard?" Dumbledore asked, eyes twinkling.  
"S-Sir-" Ginny stammered, "You,, you- your scarf!" she squeaked.  
Hermione rolled her eyes. "Have none of you seen a pride flag before?"  
Dumbledore looked down at the rainbow scarf wrapped around his neck. "What a pleasant surprised," he said with a smile. "It is quite warm."

Suddenly, there was a chime, and an opalescent blue and pink door appeared at the other side of the room. Out of it stepped a tall, heavyset young adult with bright pink hair and a knowing smirk. Behind them trundled a live possum. Ron shrieked and feel off the couch at the sight of the possum. The stranger looked momentarily shocked and the others stared dumbly at Ron's display. Ron muttered something about "rodent -related trauma" and climbed back onto the couch.  
"Oh, you don't have to worry about Fiona, Ron. She's harmless!" the stranger said cheerily.  
The possum hissed at Ron and he shook his head. "Somehow I doubt it."

The stranger cleared their throat and placed a hand on their chest. "I really should have rehearsed this,,," they muttered. "Well, hello! I'm Drew, and to put it simply, I am God."  
Everyone stared at them in stunned silence. Nobody moved or even dared to breathe. Drew sighed and slapped their forehead with the heel of their palm. "Of course! I forgot to..." Drew snapped their fingers, "Turn down the shock and awe-inspiring ethereal aura."  
For a second, it seemed as if nothing had happened. Then, Harry lunged forward and punched Drew in the face.  
They grunted as they massaged their nose. "Maybe I shouldn't' have turned it down all at once,,," they admitted. Harry, still brimming with rage, opened his mouth to yell at them, but they interrupted him  
"Wait, wait, wait! I'm not the god you're mad at. In fact, I hate her. I'm on your side. Here." A mini-figure of J.K. Rowling, similar to Ron's Viktor Krum figure, materialized in the palm of Drew's hand. "This lady, she's who you should hate." They held the figure up by its head, pinched between their thumb and forefinger. They tossed the squirming figurine to Harry, who caught it in his fist.  
"Wait, does this mean there are two gods?" Hermione asked.  
"Nah, I'm not usually a god. This is a special occasion," Drew confessed.  
"So,, it's a dream?" Ginny suggested.  
"You could call it that. You would be wrong, but you could."

"Whatever this is, I demand to be released this instant!" Malfoy cried.  
Drew inspected their nails, which were painted a deep purple color. "No can do."  
"Wh- h- bu- I- excuse me?" Malfoy spluttered. "How dare you! My father will hear about this!"  
" _My father will hear about this_ _!_ " Drew mocked.  
Draco whipped out his wand. "I order you to return-"  
"That's not gonna work."  
Draco hissed and tried to attack Drew, but whenever he tried to utter a spell, no noise came out.  
"Did you really think you could hex God? Jesus, your ego is the size of Mars."

Dumbledore, who'd been observing silently until then, stepped forward. "What is the purpose of tormenting my students-" he began.  
"Tormenting?" Drew's eyes widened. "Oh me, no I would never dream of it! I'm on you side, I swear. Look, I'll give you guys some dopamine to calm you down." Drew clapped their hands together and Harry felt the knot in his chest that had taken up residence when Cedric died loosen. Hermione's shoulders slumped and Ron stopped eyeing Fiona. Malfoy's face softened from a scowl to a small frown. Even Ginny seemed less agitated. The only person who didn't seem to change was Dumbledore.

"Why are we here?" Harry asked. "What do you want with us?"  
Drew clapped and jumped up and down. "Finally! The question! Essentially, you're going to be watching an alternate version fo yourselves, invented and performed as a musical by a bunch of college students." Ron, Ginny, and Draco all looked confused, but Drew didn't stop to explain. "It's called A Very potter Musical."  
"And why does that call for an abduction?" Ron whined.  
"Because I felt like it," said Drew simply. "Now, I'm going to bring someone out here, and I swear to me that he's not dangerous right now, so please don't scream."  
Before anyone could react, Drew clapped their hands and a disgruntled looking Voldemort appeared. He made a face at the group and all but Dumbledore flinched. "Don't worry, he's all bark and no bite."  
Harry eyed Voldemort uneasily, but he had a feeling arguing with Drew wasn't going anywhere. Instead, he simply nodded and sat back down on the armchair. Dumbledore pulled up a wooden chair similar to the one in his office, and Draco reluctantly sat on the floor. Drew grinned and Fiona scurried up their back to perch on their shoulder. Voldemort sat sulkily in the corner.

They snapped and a large, floating, futuristic television appeared.  
Harry and the other students gaped at it, eyes wide with awe.  
"Oh yeah, I forgot y'all are from the 90s."  
The first notes of the musical began and the lights dimmed.  
"This is gonna be fun," said Drew but not like,, in the creepy villain way. I swear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have to keep reminding myself that this doesn't exist to be good, it's just supposed to be fun for me  
> uhhh let me know if it was fun for you too ig idk


End file.
